Avoiding toxic people at work

Every so often I get candidates who describe their work environment as toxic.  Unsurprisingly, it is often the same company names that are constantly mentioned and surprisingly some of the companies are large and reasonably successful but have excessive turnover. 

Some are companies with long standing employees that have been accustomed to complaining, while others are affected by one or two bad apples who may be in secure positions. 

Whatever the situation, it can become direr when we are talking about a boss or an immediate team that is being dubbed toxic.  It can have severe effects on an individual.  Anxiety obviously affects various personalities differently and when those stresses affect one’s health and one’s home life, it can become very serious.  

According to Travis Bradberry, the co-author of Emotional Intelligence, he suggests taking the following measures to combat toxic working relationships. 

1.  Set limits with toxic people.  For the lowest level offenders, they are usually complainers.  Ask complainers how to fix a problem and they will either settle down or they will realize that they are not able to influence your emotions and move to the next person.

2.  Stay aware of your emotions.  Toxic people know how to manipulate so don't rise to the bait.  If you are in control of your emotions, you are in control of the situation.  

3.  Establish boundaries and determine what is the line that you will not allow them to cross.  Toxic people understand boundaries as there are more positive people than negative, so they are used to being forced to walk away from positive people.  They are similar to children in that they will take as much as they are allowed to take.

4.  Rise above.  Do not condone poor behaviour even if some of their motive may be based on something that is relevant.

5.  Don't waste energy arguing or attempting to educate.  One conversation will not change their DNA and you will likely become even more frustrated while trying to help them and do the "right thing". 

6.  Focus on solutions, even if it means leaving a company.  If the problem is your boss, this may be the only answer. 

7.  Forgive but don't forget.  Forgive them for who they are, but don't forget who they are.

8.  Kill the negative talk.  I have been in this space when it is a boss and it is an uphill battle.  Avoid it, and if it is a manipulating person, he/she may try to drive your inner negative self-talk as well.

9.  Get lots of sleep.  Sleep is vital for solving problems and developing creativity and an essential key in emotional control.

10. Use a support system.  Often toxic people will try to isolate someone to weaken them and gain control of them. If the situation is not fixable, get out.

11. Do not let your joy be killed.  Don't be brought down by negativity.

Farewell,

Mike